At the beginning of July, when I moved house, which brought with it “The Smoking Ban” I weighed an unhealthy 8st10, which at 5′9″ is underweight. However since then I have had such an increase in appetite which has craved non stop bacon and eggs, pasta and curries with loads of rice and bread, as well as the usual snacks. I have managed to bulk up to 10st6 in just two and a half months. I am happily reminded of an excellent South Park Episode

“Say it with me, beefcake! Beefcake! BEEFCAKE!!”

On Monday, it was time to celebrate my cousin’s birthday, which wasn’t actually until the next day but it was also his leaving do from Rio’s Night Club as well as a day that most people could make it.

We started out at Rio’s, where the proprietor, known as Ziggy to the staff, treated us all to free drinks to start the night off. From here we moved on to the Verve bar which was just across the road for posh beer, or in my case gin cocktails

After this we headed on down to the Fab cafe where we lasted out most of the remainder of the evening. Whilst fun, the night so far was quite uneventful; except for one twat being a complete dick to one of the girls, resulting in her running for a cab, crying. Nice one dude! It wasn’t until the remaining revellers joined CJ and I back at our flat that things started to descend into the sort of chaos we’ve become accustomed to.

A few members of the Rio’s staff who had keys to the stock room, went on a booze mission (apparently with permission), returning with what looked like a lot more than they’d been allowed; People started getting mischievous, occupying the bathroom for long periods (and the garden at one point); I found some blue liquid on the table, which I tried tasting only to find it was thread sealant (not nice!); everyone was becoming totally incoherent not least CJ himself. This was the state of him, at the end of the night.

By the time I said goodbye to the last guests who were not already unconscious in the living room it was light outside. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the sight I saw across the road, though I was sure that our neighbours were going to be less impressed. I actually found it hilarious but then it was not my car.

I think most people over did it that night. CJ, myself and at least one other are still feeling rough two days later. Not entirely surprising given the list of alcohols we each got through which included absinth, poitin, vodka, gin, lager, ale, apple sourz and jagermeister. Ouch!

I saw this today on a friends blog. I lol’d

The itsy bitsy spider,
Climbed up the water spout.
Down came the rain,
And washed the spider out.

His giant second cousin,
Climbed up my bedroom curtains….
Well that was stupid wasn’t it?
Death for him was certain

Out came the hardback,
Which hit him on the brain,
The not-so-itsy spider,
Never climbed again

A little poem about stupid, eight-legged things that do not know their place in this crazy world.